I’ve been stuck for months. Stuck creatively, stuck mentally and stuck emotionally.

I’ve pretended for over 6 years that Super Sad Squad is a well oiled machine that can pump out art and comics like its nothing, but that’s not what it is. Super Sad Squad is just me, an emotionally unstable guy in his 30’s, trying to give a piece of himself to anyone who will take it. It’s not a business or a brand. It’s just a person, and that person is stuck - therefor the project is stuck.

I spent today watching Mythic Quest and crying. I got wrapped up in the multifaceted characters who had ambition and vision, but also had gone through terrible situations. It made me want to go through and read Blank Verse again, and so I did. Every time I do I end up spending most of the time trying to remind myself that I am the one that made it - but I don’t want to believe it. It feels impossible now to pick up my pencil and start drawing a new comic even though I’ve already done it - TWICE.

I don’t have a solution to getting out of this, but I want to say that I’m trying. It’s not as simple as it used to be where I could find something to distract myself or just listen to music that would put me in a better mood. The chemicals in my body are out of whack. The trauma from my childhood that I’ve pushed aside and hidden from has latched onto me and won’t let go. I used to be able to create in spite of these things, but I don’t feel like I can anymore and that the time to see a doctor about it is long, loooooong overdue.

If you have read Blank Verse - thank you. It means a lot to me that you’d give your time and attention to this project. I hope that you understand that I’m trying my best to get it going again. I have outlined two more books that will see the story through to its conclusion. I will get to work as soon as I’m able. The project can’t become unstuck until I am unstuck - so that’s first on my list.

Until then, here’s a picture of an 8 year old Alex eating a jumbo chocolate chip cookie.